everythingbutharleyquinn:

and its plentiful accessibility and how it is usually the first sexual frame of reference for young men these days and how so many of them absorb a lot of the elements that are performed for the camera, to provide visual stimulation for the viewer, and how these performative elements usually revolve around female compliance and submission - jack-hammering fucking from angles sure to wreck the cervix, pushing down on the woman’s head roughly as she sucks cock, squeezing boobs and that’s just for starters…

… and how those young men just bring these elements into the sex they have with young women and how those young women, without anywhere near the same representation of female-oriented sexuality, who have been groomed to be compliant and accommodating and an object from which pleasure is taken, who have been trained to be passive and less assertive around men, who believe male approval is paramount and fear losing it, will be subjected to this sort of stuff when having sex with new partners who don’t think to ask, who just think that’s how things are done. Who literally don’t pause to consider whether it’s something that’s mutually enjoyable. Maybe because they assume it is, due to the way it’s framed in porn. Maybe because they just don’t care.

How does that contribute long term to sexual realisation and self-conceptualisation for these women?

And like, duh, I’m making broad, sweeping generalisations for anyone about to say it. Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone ever. I know ALL the counter-points that can be made so don’t bother, kay. I’ve been clicking through them in my head considering pre-emptively listing them out so folks can see I’m being fair and reasoned about it, but fuck that. What I say is still very real for many, many women. The vast majority of porn is fucked and teaches men terrible, terrible sexual behaviour.